parting is such sweet sorrow

Top 10 things I like about Rwanda:

1. The weather (78 and sunny every day)

2. The people (also 78 and sunny every day!)

3. Downtown Kigali

4. Optimism

5. Determination

6. The countryside (land of a thousand hills - at least!)

7. Body language

8. The handshake

9. The fact that the country is starting fresh - essentially 14 years old

10. The new friends I made this week

I can honestly say that the past 7 days have been life altering in the best way possible ... inspiring, action packed, fun, and meaningful. I came to this country with gorillas and genocide on my mind, and leave tomorrow evening feeling as if I have been touched and honored in the most profound way. This has hands down been the best journey of my life!

I’ve just returned home from a dinner that the architects organized for 35 people at the most funky restaurant in Kigali (square white plates with organic food, great cold beer, etc.). The evening was organized in honor of Sifa and myself - the entire architectural office (not just our team), the engineers, wives, secretaries, contractors - you name them - bet you can’t - and they were there. In addition to a fun filled four hour soirée, traditional Rwandan dancers made lively appearances for us in our own room, and we all danced too! The spirit and energy were incredible - what an event! Speeches were made thanking me for coming from New York - my pleasure - and the project itself was feted in many ways. Additionally, after many people taking the floor, I was given a traditional ‘kings’ stick - a long cane with an ‘O’ handle - the entire item covered in horse hair and beads the color of the Rwandan flag. We laughed and I told everyone I would not use it to walk the hilly site, but would beat them if the project was being done in accordance with our desires! ... It was an incredibly touching, warm, and lovely send off ...

Today was primarily a touring day. After meeting with the architects at their office, I was delighted to find that all of the notions and concepts that we discussed this past week had been implemented into the overall scheme for the children’s village. I left feeling elated, and that my visit to Rwanda was a success - I came to assist in the proper realization of this dream, and it looks as if the work is headed in the right direction!

I was so relieved to learn that Eric and Marcellin, from the office, would be taking me to the south ... P-Diddy no more, meaning no more valium at 10 am for me. Eric drives nice and slow, the speed limit actually, setting a completely different tone on our journey. Our drive to Butare took us through the most magnificent countryside, with tall hills, deep valleys, and markets framing the view. The three of us discussed, in French, the state of world affairs during our two hour journey. These guys are highly educated and cultured, care deeply about the state of the world, the environment, and humanity, and are extremely informed. We determined that I was the optimist, Eric was the idealist (making declarations and saying ‘full stop’ after each point), and Marcellin was the cynic! Our talk continued over lunch when we arrived in the southern province, with Marcellin and Eric explaining to me the virtues of African family values and the concern they have with Western democracies ... they believe that countries need more ‘benevolent dictators’ - leaders who use their power for the good of the people to elevate all of society (taking notes GWB?), with a minimum of dissent from the population.

Rwanda has only been able to move forward with strong leaders who have insisted that the country heals by forgiving the past and going forward from there. When I first arrived one week ago, the genocide did not appear to be on the surface. As I prepare to leave for Europe, it seems to be (understandably) a huge part of everyone’s life. Although it is constantly mentioned officially in the press, one is given the initial impression that it is in the past. It is not. Yet, everyone moves forward, feeling the Rwanda has the potential for incredible growth and development.

I asked whether it is difficult for outsiders (the ubiquitous Ugandans, Kenyans, and Congolese) to adjust to life in Rwandan society when they move here for work. I was repeatedly given the same answer - the country is only 13 years old, and they are fully accepted in all circles, and are welcomed. As many of the Rwandese who currently live here arrived post 1994 (many had been born in Congo and Burundi and only moved to Rwanda as adults), they too are ‘new’ to the country.

Our journey took us through the national university campus (tuition is $10 a year, with a $50 per month subsidy paid to each student - kind of like US schools, no?), and on to the National Museum. I was given a one hour tour with an English (?) speaking tour guide - when I asked Marcellin and Eric how long they had known her, they stared at me blankly and said they just met her. It seems as if they were old friends, chatting in a relaxed way and laughing (no body language whatsoever). At one point I turned around, and the docent and Eric were walking holding hands! So, more Rwandan idiosyncrasies ... men and men, women and women, and men and women hold hands briefly while walking. When they want to make a point they will often snap their fingers then point at something. When they want to express how much they like something, they will say ‘I like it TOO much’ or will say ‘it is TOO nice’. After the tour, the guys bought gifts for Jane and the kids in the gift shop - so sweet - for me to take him, imploring me to return with the family as soon as possible (asap - Eric recently received an email asking for something ‘asap’ - no periods between the letters - and couldn’t make any sense of it!).

Eric had actually bumped into his friend Vivien (male) so we offered him a lift back to Kigali ... although we were stopping at the Kings Palace on the way back to see the traditional round Rwandan huts. By the time we got there, it was closed, but Vivien knew someone who knew someone, and before we knew it the gates were opened. We had a private tour of the site, as the sun was setting - incredible! The monochromatic textures of the natural materials were amazing.

As we approached Kigali, I was told that they would drop me back to the hotel, and that they would pick me up within 30 minutes, after I had a chance to shower (okay already, I’ll take a shower! shheeez!). Off we went to the dinner!

I really had a chance to talk with everyone, which was great! Kiki, the head honcho, wanted to know my secret for staying a ‘normal size’ as he put it ... even here they’re worried about their weight and staying in shape! The clutches of botox cannot be far behind!

Jane is on her way to Paris right now, and I am looking forward to joining her Sunday morning. Tomorrow I am visiting the Genocide Memorial, and hope to hang out a bit and relax. I have a long flight back - Kigali to Nairobi, Kenya - then onto Brussels, then the high speed train to Paris - hopefully Jane will have breakfast waiting for me when I arrive!

Wishing you all a great evening and Shabbat Shalom,

Harley